The second trailer for Godzilla: King of the Monsters has classic Godzilla fans on cloud nine. Toho legends like Mothra, Rodan, and Ghidorah feature prominently in the trailer, proving that KotM has every intention of bringing all of Godzilla's best colleagues to the big screen. But the thing is, not every monster Godzilla's ever met has been so iconic. In fact, some have been just plain strange. So strange that we can be all but sure they're not in KotM. But don't despair, loyal readers. Though Legendary's MonsterVerse might not include these whale-sized weirdos, we certainly haven't forgotten about them. For your viewing pleasure, here are 10 Godzilla movie villains that most likely won't be in King of the Monsters.
10. SpaceGodzilla
You know that common criticism of Marvel movie villains? That they're just evil versions of their film's Marvel heroes? Well, SpaceGodzilla is essentially that. SpaceGodzilla is created when Godzilla's DNA gets mixed with radiation from a black hole (you know, the birds and the bees). He makes his way to earth and matches Godzilla in almost every way. Really, the only difference is his...shoulderpads? They're crystals of some kind, space crystals, that can form a kind of force field around himself. While those graphics would admittedly be cool, an exact replica of Godzilla doesn't have the visual allure as a different creature. Plus, it's a little too many Godzilla mythos to stuff into the still-young MonsterVerse.
9. Varan
Obviously, a lot of the monster designs in the Godzilla franchise come from mutated versions of recognizable animals. That makes sense. What doesn't makes sense is that one of those animals would be the flying squirrel. That's Varan. Looking like a weaker Godzilla cosplaying as Cher, Varan is known to fly and, well, not fight. Yes, in the 1968 kaiju film Destroy All Monsters, Varan is seen gliding in just before a final battle with King Ghidorah... and then never seen again. Leaving your fellow monsters in their hour of need? That's a jerk move, Varan. Go show your First Class Banshee costume to someone else.
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8. Gorosaurus
How about a dinosaur that knows karate? That sounds like a good idea, right? The only thing that could ruin that, maybe, is if the dinosaur looks like a melted gift shop toy. Well, the good and bad news is that that's exactly what you get from Gorosaurus. Weird looks aside, Gorosaurus is actually pretty cool. He's like the Batman of Godzilla's Monster League, relying on his athletic skills where his teammates rely on powers. He's actually done well in battles with King Ghidorah, and is a favorite character in some Godzilla video games. You know, despite looking like a droopy, pirated Jurassic Park action figure.
7. Jet Jaguar
If you recognize Jet Jaguar, it's because you recognize Ultraman, from whom Jet Jaguar is shamelessly ripped off of. Jet is a robot that can grow to kaiju size, he's a friend to Godzilla and the Earth, and he's a being somehow intelligent enough to understand human emotion. However, he's not intelligent enough to understand how creepy his face is. Jet is special because, unlike any other monsters on this list, he's actually shaken hands with Godzilla. That's right, after battling a world-ending threat in Godzilla vs. Megalon, the newly-sentient AI and ancient reptilian overlord actually clasped hands and shook. Does it make sense? No. Is it as beautiful a symbol of friendship as when Buzz and Woody held hands before nearly being incinerated in Toy Story 3? Absolutely.
6. M.O.G.U.E.R.A.
With a less sensible acronym than F.R.I.E.N.D.S., the Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type should be a lot cooler. It is, after all, just a flying robot loaded with more weapons than an Iron Man suit for the Punisher. But M.O.G.U.E.R.A.'s defeat at Godzilla's hands usually comes pretty quick. Plus, with so many similarities to Mechagodzilla, M.O.G.U.E.R.A. kind of appears as a weak rip-off. A Hobbit trilogy to Mecha's Lord of the Rings. And while we can see Legendary including Mechagodzilla in their cinematic universe, we can almost guarantee his little brother won't make the cut.
5. Gabara
It's hard to even start with Gabara. First, he looks like the result of a passionate night between Bowser and Goofy (don't Google it). Second, his roar sounds like the cursed laughter of a prepubescent ghost. But the weirdest thing about Gabara? He's not even real. In his first appearance (All Monsters Attack), he only exists inside the dreams of the main character, a child named Ichiro. There, he's just a kaiju-themed allegory for Ichiro's real-world bully. Literally, none of the monsters in All Monsters Attack are real, they're just imaginary creatures that fight a couple times. And most of that is just reused footage of other Godzilla movies. Gotcha, franchise-loving moviegoers!
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4. King Caesar
I can make fun of King Caesar's repetitive name, but honestly, this character's pretty fun. I mean, he looks like if The Simpsons' Sideshow Bob fell into some acid along with a cat, and that's cool. But it's the way King Caesar shows up in his debut film, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, that really makes this character shine. King Caesar is an ancient entity; one that you can only summon with a mystical, forgotten hymn. A mystical, forgotten hymn that just happens to be groovy as heck. It's got kind of a James Bond-theme feel, plus absolutely zero sense of antiquity or mysticism. Just 100% kaiju funk. And for that, King Caesar shouldn't be forgotten.
3. Orga
Remember the American Godzilla reboot in 1999? Of course, you don't! You drank that away years ago. And if the alcohol didn't work for you, well, Toho had you covered with Godzilla 2000. Released right after the horrible American film, Godzilla 2000 was a fun, wacky battle between the King of the Monsters and some UFOs. When these UFOs get a sample of Godzilla's DNA (does mating even exist in this universe?), they created something truly unique in the Godzilla rogues line-up. Orga is one of the most distinct monsters to face Godzilla with his lumbering stance and hulking hunchback. This is another one that probably wouldn't make it onscreen because of a complex origin, which is too bad. The Godzilla of KotM could rock an Orga battle.
2. Hedorah
Speaking of distinct appearances, check out Hedorah. This pollution-consuming alien parasite came to earth as a microscopic organism. After encountering and consuming a massive amount of smog, Hedorah grew to the size of a skyscraper and set its sights on destroying Earth. Luckily for humanity, Godzilla was there to bring it down. However, the end of this movie isn't entirely a happy one. Godzilla stalks off from the civilization he saved, furious at them for creating all the pollution in the first place. Again, it's a shame Hedorah won't show up in the MonsterVerse. He's terrifying to look at, and fighting a smog monster could make for some awesome visuals. Besides, we could use as many anti-pollution movies as we can get right now.
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1. Minilla
Ironically, the undeniably weirdest entry on this list actually has Godzilla blood in him. And not just in the UFO/black hole cloning way. Last but not at all least on this list of weirdos is Minilla, the actual son of Godzilla. As you can see by the tragic photo above, Minilla is one of the few examples of categorically losing the gene lottery. Apart from his hauntingly stupid appearance, his purpose in the Godzilla films is nothing less than infuriating. He serves as a kind of eternal rescue mission, constantly getting in the way or needing to be rescued. It's as though someone at Toho watched Scrappy-Doo and sai:d "That, but less useful." While making this list, there were plenty of Godzilla friends/foes that I was sad wouldn't make it into the MonsterVerse. Minilla was not one of them.
RELATED: Godzilla 2: Monarch Website Teases Ghidorah's Original Defeat
Which weird Godzilla kaiju is your favorite? Do you agree that we ton't see any of these in Godzilla: King of the Monsters, or do you think we missed the mark? Let us know in the comments section below!
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